I originally posted this as a Facebook note on Halloween 2010. That year the weather was beautiful, unlike the rainy night around my house tonight. Thought I’d share it again as it is a Holiday favorite….
This year, for the first time in three years, I passed out candy at my own house. After having this experience, I have some tips for would-be trick-or-treaters and their escorts. Some dos and don’ts, for those out and about on this fine holiday.
DO… leave your dog at home. Bringing your dog along only makes the other dogs in the neighborhood go mental barking at them. If you do decide to bring along the pooch, leave him or her at the sidewalk. I really don’t want your mutt sniffing me or pooping in my chrysanthemums while I am passing out candy.
DO…say “Trick or Treat” and “Thank you” when going door to door. This is especially true for those pushing the acceptable age for trick-or-treaters. A two year old who can’t, or won’t say the words is one thing – it’s almost cute. A 14 yr old, who won’t follow the script is just rude.
DON’T… light up a cigarette and puff away while asking me for candy (yes, a 50+ yr old woman did at my house).
DON’T…reject a piece of candy on your child’s behalf and ask for something in specific because it’s “basically the only thing she’s allowed to have”. Food allergies are a sad reality in many children’s lives, and can be quite troublesome. But, if your child’s restrictions are so tight that only a small portion of what the general public will offer is suitable, maybe walking around on halloween isn’t in your child’s best interest. Here is a thought. Go BUY your child what he or she can have, and consider DONATING the candy your child collects on halloween to a food bank. Everyone wins.
DON’T…spit on my lawn after leaving my step as one large 16 or so year old did. If you have your plug in, and must spit, at least wait until you are away from me. And if you are just one of those rude, spit-whenever-I-feel-like-it types, then stay home.
DO…leave the children with 102 degree fevers home. It’s better for them, and those of us coming in contact with them. No one wants little Typhoid Mary coming to their front step. (And if you do have the 102 degree child, and your are dumb enough to take her out, don’t announce it to every house. Keep that nugget of info to yourself)
DON’T… Come to me with two bags in your hand. Especially if one is obviously nothing more than the Meijer bag that was rattling around in the back seat since Labor Day. And don’t tell me the second is for “your little brother”. Like they say, you must be present to win.
DO…take ONE piece of candy if I am kind enough to allow you to pick your favorite. In fact, bone up on the concept of the term “favorite”. If my bowl has an assortment of Snickers, Almond Joy, M&Ms, Twix, and Kit Kat and others, telling you to take your “favorite” should not result in three different pieces of candy leaving my bowl. If it does it tells me two things. One, you are rude and greedy. And two, you have an obvious inability to make basic decisions in your life, like “which is my FAVORITE”.
DON’T… follow your children around from the warmth of your plain white van. If they need an escort, get off your lazy behind and walk with them. I did! It was fun!
All of that may make you think I didn’t enjoy being out on the step in my Papa Bear costume from last night. But the truth is that I actually quite enjoyed it.
My favorite moment of the night was when little Anna came to my step. She was with her immigrant parents who probably were experiencing this whole thing for the first time. She couldn’t have been even two years old, but she did it all so well. She had on on adorable bumble bee costume, she said “Trick or Treat” and “Thank you”. She took ONE piece that was her favorite. Then, when it was done, her mom had her sit on our laps and get her picture with momma and papa bear. Yup, that made it all worth it!